Green Business

How to hire great staff (3) (then blow it on game day)

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So we have the Chief Culture Officer, we have Kim and me and Kate ready to rock and roll. Day doesn’t start great as 3 year old Fynn decides school is so September 10 and he feels he will develop a far better personality by watching the Wiggles for 10 hours straight. In the car he goes, no shoes, no sox, no jacket and off to school we go, him wailing all the way. Dump and run and we are heading back to the office. (Please don’t call Child Services – my Mum did it to me and she never went to jail for what she done)

Arrive back at the office to meet our pooch, Mohican who is looking a little green under the gills. Oh and by the way, the day care gal is sick so we have no day care for all our staff. So productivity today is going to be iffy. We ask staff to make other arrangements for their kids but one, Will needs to stay. We set him up in front of Winne the Pooh. And then the candidate arrives to see this alleged “family friendly” gulag where we just turn on the DVD and let ’em watch it all day long…

Off we go into the interview room…4 of us, 1 of them. The interviews for our first two hires, while being good, had none of the professionalism of this approach. We had our questions, we had check lists – we were set. Or so we thought.

Sick pooch cruises in and decided to cry at all of us. He’s up, he’s down, he’s all over the shop. He doesn’t want to leave our sides. We kick off and then our 1 year old wakes from a nap. So now we have a sick pooch, a wailing baby and one really worried looking candidate.

We bat on and things are going pretty good at this point. We ask said candidate to head up to the office for a writing task. Right at that moment, the pooch throws up about a millimeter from the candidates Manolo Blahniks.We evacuate quickly at which point the pup, thinking all is well, lies down and without knowing it lets a number 2 go…gazing at his own ass and what it has just produced he too is up and out of there, presumably to escape from the source of sai poop. But of course, how can one run from their own bum? Down the hall – poop, poop, poop…down the stairs, poop, poop, poop…across the kitchen…you get the picture. The house/office reeks so PR Director Kate starts the clean up operation while the candidate is working on the writing task at hand. Any customers reading this note – gDiaper refills work great at cleaning up such messes – and just flush it away!

After all is said and done, we make it to the end. Every window in the house is open, the dog is sulking, the candidate is running out the door and we all sit to ponder what just happened. The best laid plans…
Now for consistency we are going to need to do it all again just the same tomorrow! Pooch, have some Mexican buddy.

2 thoughts on “How to hire great staff (3) (then blow it on game day)”

  1. Well, if they make it through that, you know they have a sense of absurdist humor, and won’t get fazed in trying situations 😉

    Like

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